Money in Relationships. Small fights – big divorces

Money in Relationships – Did you know that one of the leading causes for divorce worldwide is money?

 

Today I want to talk about the small differences we can have with money, that can have a major impact on our relationship. Money in Relationships can have a big impact on your relationship.

 

Small disagreements or differences on money in relationships may seem harmless but over extended periods of time if you and your partner are not on the same financial page it will have an impact on your relationship.

 

In fact, sometimes even being on the same page (if its not the right page) can cause a negative impact on our finances!!

 

This is why having a Finance Coach is so valuable – it’s a third party person who has no emotional connection to your finances or relationship that can provide an objective view and also hear and understand both parties before taking the appropriate steps forward. If you want to improve the money in your relationship, then it may be worth getting a finance coach involved.

 

In my experience couples that I work with will fall into one of two categories:

 

  1. They are very similar in their money approach and are relaxed with each others decisions. This often means that it is easy to convince one another to spend money. This tends to lead them into a position where they are spending too much money, struggling to save and have some debt to go along with this.

While this may feel suitable in the short term, the medium and long term is going to see some pressure on your finances if you have debt and very little savings behind you.

If you are both spenders in your relationship then you need to make sure you have a clear structure, clearly defined goals and you have a way of holding each other accountable. You need a Financial Plan.

 

  1. The other is when we have couples who have opposite approaches or attitudes towards spending money. One person may have some savings and be more careful with money and the other enjoys spending and tends to live week to week.

What I have also found with these couples is that over time the person who is more of a saver starts to slip more and more into the spending side.

While having a balance between spending and saving can be a good thing, you do need to be careful that you remain on the same page.

 

Here are some signs that you are not on the same page

 

  • Arms get twisted and this might become easier and easier. When one person is continually convincing the other to go ahead and spend the money.
  • You are in a long term relationship but do not share your money or have joint accounts. This is a big step to take and should not be taken lightly BUT if you are in a long term committed relationship, why have you not committed your money to each other?? For this to work well, you need to have a good structure set up.
  • Hiding spending or purchases from each other. This could be sending online shopping to work and not showing your partner or not being completely honest about how much you earn or how much debt you have.
  • You don’t talk about money. You may be scared of it causing a disagreement or feel uncomfortable discussing it. If you are not talking about it then this could lead to issues later on.

 

In the short term some of these things seem harmless, but what they demonstrate is a disconnect in your relationship with money which can turn into much bigger concerns down the track.

 

Its healthy to have disagreements and debates in our relationships, this is no different with money. But the big difference you need to ask yourself – do these debates and disagreements get resolved with both parties being involved in making and committing to the final decision?

 

Whether we like it or not, finances do form a big part of our relationship. So it makes sense that you should put some effort into making it as successful as you can.

 

YouChange clients have found it very helpful to have someone with an outside perspective come in to help make their finances more successful.

A Finance Coach can look at your situation very objectively, without emotion. A Finance Coach will also ensure that both parties in a relationship are heard and their own needs are considered when creating a plan. So the Financial Plan will reflect both parties in a relationship which will make it much easier to get on board with and make great progress together.

 

A huge key to financial success in a relationship is for you both to be on the same page. So if you are in a relationship where one of you typically takes charge of your finances, then it might be time to review this. You both should be taking charge of that in order to get the best outcomes.

 

If money is a bit of an issue in your relationship, do not ignore that – it will not improve without effort. Your bank account and your relationship will improve by taking deliberate steps to improve your finances.

 

Contact YouChange to book a consultation when you are ready to take your finances to the next level!

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